February 17, 2015 · Posted in Personal
I love being mysterious. Not because I love mystery, but because I am scared that if someone truly sees me — flaws and all — that they will no longer like me. I have lived my life this way for as long as I can remember. I would much rather people not know me and reject me than know everything there is to know about me and reject me. This is something that has held me back in life; I have ruined many opportunities that life has thrown my way at the fear of being judged. My fears have overcome me, and I need to make a change.
I got a taste of what it feels like for a person to know every single detail about you — every crack, bruise, and scar — and at the end of the day, still wanting to talk to you. There is no better feeling in the world to me, and that is something I aspire to have in all of my personal relationships. I’m not there yet, but hopefully I will get there someday and finally be happy.